My heart is broken

It is with my deepest sadness that I am writing this post.  My grandma past away this afternoon.  I feel so guilty for not beng able to fly out to Arizona in the last few days to see her. It was a tough call .  I spoke to my mom several times a day and at one point they thought she was improving and the next she would get worse.  She had been suffering these past few days.  Pain, blood transfusions, jaundice, and failing kidneys. The doctors attempted giving her dialysis but I guess she wasn't strong enough for this fight. I was suppose to take a vacation week and was hoping grandma would hang on until then.  Illness and death are never convenient.

 Financial and babysitting obligations held me back.  Damn airlines charge an arm and a leg for flights.  If they have the available seats then why not sell them fo a reduced rate?  It's not like I am making the plane make an extra stop. 

 am just waiting to hear about the arrangements before I book my flight to say my final goodbye.  The family is unsure about sending her body to Colorado to be buried next to my grandpa or buring her in Arizona.